Matters Of The Heart

Being in love is such a wondrous feeling. Love can make you feel like you’re floating, feet off the ground, and butterflies in your stomach. Love increases awareness in your surroundings. You notice the way the trees sway when the wind blows caressing the branches, the birds chirping, your scene of smell enhances to the point of being able to appreciate the sweet aroma of whatever scents that permeates the air. That’s only a fraction of what love can do to you and there are no anecdote for love once you catch it.
Now there might not be an anecdote for love, however you can guard your heart from being taken advantage of once you’ve fallen to the guile's of love. Sounds contradictory and maybe a little impossible to love and guard your heart at the same time but it can be done. Here is how:

• Hold on to your identity
• Have a clear idea of who you are
• Have your mind made up that no matter who comes or goes you will be ok
• Give but don’t be a fool
• Love but don’t be someone’s doormat, floor mat, or punching bag
• Refuse to tolerate toxic people

Hold on to your identity - The honey moon stage of a relationship is where everything is going great. Both parties are doing and saying all the right things. Life is a ball. The problem with the honeymoon stage is often times this is where women start losing their identity. Things they use to do they don’t anymore. Places they frequent with their girlfriends they don’t frequent anymore. They get married to the man before the man is even thinking of settling down with them.

Have a clear idea of who you are – People will always have an opinion. Whether the opinion is good or bad on how and who you are supposed to be. While some advice from others could be great advice, it should be considered. Don’t be the person who looks into the mirror and see themselves as great and mighty only to walk away later and forget who they are when others share their opinions on the how and the who you are supposed to be.

Have your mind made up that no matter who comes or goes you will be ok – We can’t force people to stay in our life’s and who would want to if they could. In my experience I’ve learned that it’s not worth them staying if it’s forced. Be willing to see the good in goodbye. Remain steadfast in your joy and be open to love again because you never know if the right person for you is just around the corner.

Give but don’t be a fool – Everybody plays the fool was a song I used to belt out as loud as my high pitched voice would allow oblivious of how horrible I sound and look to the people who had to suffer through heinous cackling. Looking like a darn fool because I was convinced that my voice sounded great.
Being a fool like that is funny, but in reality no one likes to be a fool. Let alone play one. Don’t be a fool for anyone and for any reason. When people show you who they are believe them the first time. Accept their apology if one is given but don’t succumb yourself to being taken on a ride again. If you feel giving them a second chance then be sure that their actions shows that one is warranted.

Love but don’t be someone’s doormat, or floor mat– I know we all want to love and to be loved back in return, but don’t want it so bad that you’re willing to pay for it at any price. Any price that destroys your self-esteem and self-worth is too great a price. Love is a free gift that we give to one another. Giving it to someone and that someone receiving and reciprocating it back to us should be the only price paid.

Refuse to tolerate toxic people and their drama – Some people are not satisfied unless there is drama in their life. They will even create it themselves. Avoid these people they are they will suck the life out of you. I use to know this young lady and just about every other week there was something chaotic going wrong in her world. It wasn’t so much that she had things going wrong in her life that concerned me, but that she kept repeating the issues as if she wanted to relive them by sharing them over and over.
Usually these people don’t even know that they are displaying toxic behavior because these habits and behavior has become a part of them. You can lovingly point out the behavior to them and see if that helps them to recognize their behavior. Sometimes that helps other times it might not, but as long as you do your part then you’ve done enough and all that’s left is to pray for them and hope for the best.  Until next time. Take care of you.